Happy does not equal perfect

A look at this moment: I'm sitting on my bed with a load of laundry to fold and Emerson laying next to me kicking me with his feet. Though we tried for a nap in his crib, he wasn't having it and squalled until I brought him into my room with me. (Granted, he slept a lot this morning in the car so we'll just do an afternoon nap.) While he was quiet but not asleep, I did manage to heat up a small lunch. After that we all headed to my bed to work (and me to eat). 

P.S. Emerson fell asleep next to me after about a half hour of watching me work on my laptop. 

P.P.S. I got a little work done on an impromptu design project for my sister but then we had a pooping-on-the-comforter incident, a spitting-up-on-the-sheets incident, and several we-definitely-won't-get-anything-done incident. 

P.P.P.S. I am now continuing this post. Two. whole. days. later. 

Wow. The struggle is real, folks. I'll say that my intent with the above information was just to show what my day might look like for a single snapshot of time. In fact, I thought it might be a fun little detail to include on any of my personal life posts going forward.

However, with each additional "P.S." I realized that the unfolding of events actually demonstrates the topic of this post pretty well.

See after I published my "Happy happy life" post, I continued to think about what I wrote. (Other people do that too, right?...right?) And I started to come up with all kinds of "wait a minute" reasons about why I shouldn't be as happy as I've been feeling.

I am constantly behind on housework
As much as I intend to meal plan and make dinner every night—shoot, every other night—I rarely do
I don't have huge attendance at my fitness classes
I have baby weight and am sensitive about unflattering pictures of myself
I am horrible at responding to or even reading text and Facebook messages and am horrible at staying in touch with friends
I have so many personal professional projects that I have never moved forward on
I still haven't scheduled the dental appointment I've been needing for months
Somedays Emerson and I don't leave the house
I have moments where I am frustrated, tired, and overwhelmed
I often don't get done any of the things I wanted to that day

Overall, the idea that kept coming up was that I have a thousand reasons NOT to happy, namely because I am not perfect. I didn't want others to think I was putting on a front to appear better than I actually am. I mean, I have so many downfalls and my life is most definitely not perfect. I don't want to be a person that pretends my life is something that it's not.

But I realized that everyone will ALWAYS have thousands of reason not to be happy. And perhaps the most gratifying thing about "happy" is finding it even through the many reasons not to.

Happiness is not dependent on perfection. Happiness is not dependent on success. Happiness is a daily choice. Happiness is thriving in the moments that give us joy. Happiness is knowing and accepting who you are and loving that person.

Happiness is driving home from a daily errand and seeing beauty in the moment. And smiling.