From Her: Finding Out

I woke up in the morning and on my way to the bathroom decided to take the last of the two dollar store tests I had impulsively bought a month earlier. I had been waiting a week for my period to start but was planning to wait a few more days before doing the test. Having stopped taking my birth control pills this month, I knew that change could be affecting my body and wasn't too thrown off by the delay.

I had actually taken the first of those tests just two weeks prior mostly out of curiosity of having never taken one. Obviously by going off the pill, we were planning to try for pregnancy. But I saw leaving my daily pill more so as a pre-step than I saw it as us actually "trying." I'll admit that my mindset and actions were more so aligned with the "not quite yet" approach than the trying approach. I didn't expect to have a positive result immediately after going off the pill and wasn't surprised when I did in fact get a negative with the first, probably premature, test I took. However, given the timing and my body history, if I were going to be pregnant this cycle, I thought it would have had to show up by that point.

My decision today was made in a split second. It was a Sunday morning, our one-year anniversary AND Mother's Day. I still hadn't started and figured if I were going to take the test that week anyways, I might as well do it today.

I completed the process of getting my sample in the right place and left the room. I played a game on my phone and just so happened to finish my round a bit more than 3 minutes later. In no rush, I made my way back to the bathroom, really and truly not expecting anything. As I looked down at the test, I saw the two lines and looked back and forth from the test instructions to the test itself.

Really? Positive? ... Really?

I thought about calling for Jake, but he was still sleeping and I didn't want to wake him up. Because it was our anniversary, I decided to turn the results into a present and let him wake up and open it on his own time. I tiptoed into our bedroom to pull a couple sheets of tissue paper out from the wrapping supplies box under the bed.

I found a small box to use and folded the instructions with the results key showing and placed it in the box with the test on top. I then layered multiple pieces of the white sparkly tissue paper around the box and taped them in place.

With my "anniversary present" ready, I slowly made my way back into the bedroom. Jake was stirring but I made my way to his side of the bed and placed the box on his dresser. Jake is a bit hysterical when he's sleeping and he says "What are you doing? Come back to bed."

"I am. But I have a present for you. You can open it when you wake up."

Jake groaned. We had decided we weren't going to do presents; we aren't really presents people anyways. But I think he always fears I'll say no presents and turn around and break the agreement.

Now with that present on the dresser, Jake was noticeably grumpier, even more so than his normal just-waking-up self.

I crawled back into bed and reassured him. "Don't worry, it's not really a present."

I really intended to go back to sleep for a bit and let Jake wake up on his own time. But I found myself not being able to relax.

"Maybe you should open it now."

"Ahghektjhejhkhgs Shtkhjkehs." (Translation: No I want to be sleeping. And now you've made me feel worse for not having a present for you.")

"Yeah, open it now."

Jake sits up, grabs a shirt, and lets me snap a picture.

I realize as he's unwrapping that this should probably be something I film. I thought...oh this is too dark, I need to turn on the light, but there wasn't time to do anything about it. This video shows what unfolded next.

I love the video and proceeded to watch it at least a dozen times today...even though Jake hates how he looks and sounds :D.

Read Jake's version here.

From Him: Finding Out

Jake:

We had talked about it before - a family. When do we start trying? Would we want a boy or girl? What name would we give? Sure these are all things that most married couples will think about, but just like in any physical science, the actual experience is nothing like the well thought out theories.

A few months ago, Karianne (aka LOML - love of my life, guys) showed me a video when a woman told her spouse she was pregnant through the "subtle" clue of putting a literal bun in the kitchen oven. He exclaimed, dropped whatever he was doing and picked her up and kissed her. He may have cried too... I don't remember. Anyways, I thought his reaction was sweet and heartfelt, and then I immediately felt a little bad for Karianne since I predicted that my reaction wouldn't be as memorable. I don't react excitedly in a visible manner, but Karianne would still see how happy I would be... right?

Ever since graduating from BYU and commissioning in the Air Force in April, we decided it was time to start trying to add a new member to the family. I figured that things would take a while for the birth control to clear her system, and I didn't expect any results in the near future - after all, I had no idea if we could even have children! I was just hoping a lot and trying not get my sights set on something that may not be physically possible for us.

So May 10th rolls around  - Our anniversary and Mother's Day (not to mention I also like to sleep in on Sundays). It's probably 8 o'clock or earlier and Karianne whispers for me to wake up. I flip the fluffy brown pillow over to its cold side and shove my face even deeper and grumble that it's too early.

"What?" Karianne asks.

"It's too early. Go to sleep."

"I have something for you..." Karianne says softly.

I roll over half upset and half curious. She tells me to put on some random shirt she found - of course the Flash one we got for Halloween when we dressed up as Sheldon and Amy from The Big Bang Theory - and places a package wrapped in white tissue paper (not the toilet paper, but the sparkly filler paper for presents). I grumbled and reminded her of our deal that we weren't going to buy gifts for each other and just enjoy doing things like going to see a play or going to the amusement park with each other this weekend. I was now in her debt with this package in front of me.

Still half asleep and as coherent as a teenager who just got his wisdom teeth taken out, I fumble with the package grumbling that she wasn't supposed to get me anything.

I finally figure out the "complex" opening to the small cardboard box and look in to see the blurry contents. I pull-out this kazoo-looking thing that resembles a USB device. Alright, now I'm confused.

"Is this a large flash drive?" I ask lazily and trying to show enthusiasm (I'm not good at pretending that I'm happy when I first wake up, so this was really brave of Karianne to even think I would show some sort of positive emotion).

"Read this," she says while pointing to the rest of the contents in one hand and holding her phone with the other. I completely didn't register the cell phone there or else I would have put some sort of hand in front of it... I can't stand pictures or videos of myself. ugh.

Anyways, I grab these instructions out of the box and start trying to make sense of the words - they might as well be Chinese characters, I couldn't figure out what I was looking at for a few seconds.

Finally, I see two images of the kazoo-looking flash drive and under one image it says "Pregnant" and under the other "Not Pregnant."

I start to put the pieces together, but everything becomes so much more urgent now that "Pregnancy" is at stake... I don't know why, that's just how my mind responded to the words. I figured Karianne could be the type of person to say, "HEY! We're not pregnant, but I love you anyways! Happy anniversary!" ... And I would probably hate her for waking me up, then. But she would do something like that. You see, she doesn't understand the value of sleeping in... yet.

I flip my eyes between the instructions and the pregnancy test (which I am now sure is not a flash drive) frantically trying to make sense of what I am seeing and what the results are. I beg her to just tell me what it all means...

"YOU'RE PREGNANT!" (Now she'll understand the value of sleeping in.)

I had no idea that we were this close to having a baby. Everything became so real at that moment. This is something neither of us has ever experienced. Just witnessing as much as a good aunt or uncle does... I'm really going to be a father?! Holy Smokes!

I think about the little guy (or girl) who is growing and can't help but imagine all of the experiences we're going to have together as a family. I start dreaming our entire lives and I don't even know what we'll name her/him.

And yet, while I'm so excited, I am still a bit reserved because I know a lot can happen in the first trimester of pregnancy. I am hopeful for everything to go well, but I am always prepared for the worst and the hardest of things - It's in my nature. The thing I know for sure is that I will support my lovely wife with all of the needs she will have - emotional or other - and continue to look forward to the future Ortiz family getting one girl or boy bigger.

I'm constantly thinking, "Am I the father I want to be? What do I need to change? There is no time better to change things than right now." There are so many things I need to learn about being a dad and becoming a better husband and I have always felt like the present is the best time to make changes.

While I was serving as a missionary in Las Vegas, I met an elderly man who invited us over for dinner with him and his wife. He asked me a question that he already knew the answer to - "What is the most important decision you will make in your life?"

"To get baptized?" ... "Nope."

"Who you marry?" .... "Good idea, but no."

He explains, "Both of those are indeed very important decisions, but the most important decision you will make... is the very next one have you before you."

I have thought greatly on that ever since hearing it 7 years ago. I realize that after we make a decision, its consequence changes is priority. The highest priority decisions we make in life are always the next ones we have to face. If you get in an argument, your next decision is to either apologize and make amends or let it fester. If you break a commandment, do you ask for for forgiveness or hide from God. If you are told you are going to be a parent, do you prepare yourself and change accordingly or do you ignore the higher calling?

I am so excited to be the father of Karianne's child. I can't believe I can even be writing these words now. Being married and having a family was a pleasant day dream of mine since I was a kid (of course I also wanted to go to space or invent some cool mechanism - call me old fashioned), but I didn't know what it would feel like when those things would finally be coming true. It feels like a jell-o is what your brain and stomach are made of and your heart just grows three sizes bigger. I am ready for the challenges that parenthood bring and I can't wait to welcome our whatchamacallit into the world....HURRY UP!

Read Karianne's version here.

Things I Learn From My Siblings

Today is my brother—the youngest child and only boy in the family—Mckay's birthday. While most of us in the family still think of him like the picture below, he is actually turning 22. (What??)

I have to say that little Mckay has grown up to be a pretty cool kid. I have the lucky role to be the only immediate family member in the same state as Mckay, so I get to see all of his grown-up skills and characteristics a lot. I find myself looking to him as an example for things I don't do well and realized I do the same with each of my siblings. (I was also thinking about this on my sister Julianne's birthday a couple weeks ago.) So I've decided to give a little shout out to the amazing people that they are and share some of the many, many things I learn from my siblings—youngest to oldest.

All of the siblings together in May 2013 at Aspen Grove, Utah.
Julianne, Susanne, Mckay, Christianne, Karianne, Ruthanne

Mckay—This guy is very responsible, organized, and dedicated to excel. Even as a freshmen at BYU, he never goofed off or wasted time. (And we all know how the stereotypically freshmen male behaves.) He continues to show this dedication to doing well—in his school work, in his music, and in his professional pursuits. Mckay schedules to spend his "free" time in practice rooms (he's a drummer and music major). He knows when he needs to be doing school work and dedicates WAY more time to that stuff than I remember ever doing as a student. He is currently trying to get an introductory job related to his major and has dedicated his time this past week to learning programs and skills needed to spiff up his application. He's impressive. And he is never idle. Never. As a college student, Mckay doesn't necessarily have much money, but he is so incredibly responsible with his spending. He knows exactly where every dollar is going and what he is supposed to spend. He has a budget and sticks to it. Plus he's a saver—he rarely even spends his dedicated "spending" money. Happy birthday Mckay! Some girl needs sing this to ya: "I don't know about you, but I'm feeling 22. Everything will be alright if you keep me next to you!" 

Susie—She inspires me to be more outgoing, become a morning person, and also pushes me to be a better runner. Growing up, Susie was always the most fun and bubbly girl that everyone wanted to be friends with. She sees the fun in everything and has no problem striking up genuine conversations with perfect strangers (not a natural ability for me!). When she sets her mind to something, she does it! For a while, we'd go to the gym together at 5:30 am, and she'd have to call me every day to wake me up. She makes the perfect running buddy because she is patient with my slow running but also encourages me to go a little longer or a little faster. She also doesn't settle for the status quo. She is also a great example of taking leaps in life and letting go of what I'm comfortable with to experience a little adventure in life.

Ruthie—She pretty much knows everything, or at least how to find information about it. She is always the one I call with a question about how something works, where something is located, or who said what. (Before smart phones, she was my go-to GPS.) She is super smart and can pretty much pick up any skill. She learns quickly and will often dive into projects and learn how to do things as she goes. I'm pretty sure she could do almost ANYTHING just because of these skills, and I think that is amazing. She is also a great teacher and speaker and impresses me with her preparation when she does those things. 

Julianne—She is the business queen and who has already paved a path for me to follow by earning her MBA and using her awesome skills to get a start-up company off the ground. She shows me that hard work and some smart skills pay off and to not let my training go to waste. And that sometimes you have to invest a bit of time and money to get a result that pays off in the end. She is also a world traveler and inspires me to embrace unique opportunities when they come my way. She is always game for a trip and is AWESOME at balancing her career and personal life. 

Christianne—As the oldest of the bunch, she is a natural leader and knows how to get things done. One thing I always notice when I'm with Christianne is that if we talk about something, she'll just do it. I tend to want to plan things out and think about things before I do them. But if we're like, "Oh let's make a headband," she leads us to just sit down right there and make a headband. She is also the craftiest of us all and knows how to do all kinds of projects. I'm pretty sure she could create anything. And she's not afraid to learn new skills. She is also the mother of 4 and is so good and teaching her kids and being able to teach them at their level. I hope to be a mom like her some day.

Pretty much all of my siblings are awesome. And this small post doesn't even touch on all of the great characteristics they each possess.